yyeehaw: exercise? more like extra fries.
willowtreefree: thewisepickle: why are girls like “oh it’s december i need a boyfriend to keep me warm” no you can buy a coat like the rest of the single people ^ yes.
friend: you should've come with us!
me: an invitation might have helped
kahlua-and-coconuts: are they called pets because you pet them or is it called petting because they’re pets
thetimelordpirate: Life is like a pair of pants. Some days you find money in the pocket, and other days your pocket catches on the doorknob of your classroom and you take out three desks and a foreign exchange student as you stumble in.
styleswhores: if you get a boyfriend does that mean you have to spend less time on the internet because idk if im prepared for that
She’s been there since I was born.– Ryan Lochte when asked about his mom (via jiggawhat)
If we're all just Christians or lions, I think I'd...
vajiggle: “Mama, look. I’m making up a song in my head, and I’m dancing to it.”
THAT'S THE BEST THING BESIDES GETTING MY BUTTHOLE...
thesassylorax: suzzannnn: when you open a new tab and can’t remember why when you close the new tab then remember why you opened it in the first place
me halfway through anything: i dont want to do this anymore
theargylegargoyle: death-by-anime: To all those 12.9 year-olds on Tumblr, I think we all know where you really belong: I think you should shut the fuck up we RP smut. I do it all the fucking time. We write fanfics. We love yuri and yaoi. We have dirty minds. Looks like we misjudged those 12.9 year olds.
sxizzor: butthorn: I just attended the best passion of the Christ play. As they were “nailing” Jesus to the cross the entire thing broke. No one knew what to do and it got quiet. Finally one of the guards on stage said “You get out of it this time Jesus” omfg